Archive for January 5th, 2010

Why be ashamed?

For various reasons that I’m not going into here, I have just started taking citalopram, which is an anti-depressant drug, specifically a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. No, I don’t know what that means either, other than the fact that my brain chemistry has gone a bit wonky and cit-a-thingy will poke around, do some jiggling, and will eventually make things right. A happy pill.

This is Day 2 of my cit-a-thingy regime and it takes 2-4 weeks for the drug to start working, though the side effects have already begun. I currently feel nauseous, have a pounding headache, a dry mouth, and even though it’s freezing outside, I’m far too warm, though I don’t have a temperature and am not sick. I was extremely drowsy earlier, which I refused to give in to on the grounds that getting some sleep tonight would be a good plan.

There’s actually quite a long list of potential side effects.

Knowing my luck, I’ll end up experiencing the lot!!

I probably should have gone to the doctor much earlier, but didn’t, and practically had to be dragged kicking and screaming, but even though I physically feel much worse, I know that this will help. At least that’s what everyone is telling me and that’s what I’m choosing to believe.

I’ve got enough for 28 days, and have promised Ally that I’ll try them for at least a fortnight. If I still feel like this, then I’ll use the rest to come off them since I still want to hide under a table and never come out, only it’s now for different reasons!

Erm … hiding under tables?

Quite.

That wasn’t me.

No really.

Ok, it might have been someone who looked like me…

And it was only the once.

And it wasn’t even a table, but a worktop…

As you know from my previous posts, I’ve been down in Somerset for a week or two. Sadly, it wasn’t really a holiday for anyone, least of all Ally and B who had to contend with a gibbering wreck in their living room over the festive season. Their kids seemed to enjoy it, though!

I finally came back to Wales last night though I haven’t made it as far as the flat, choosing to hide out at another friend’s for the time being.

The guys who own the field I rent have been looking after the pigs for me, which is a situation I’m hoping to resolve ASAP. If you want a Kune Kune for the freezer, do say…

I wasn’t going to mention this whole at all, but the more I thought about it, the more ridiculous that seems. Admittedly, there’s some stuff I’m keeping to myself, but in general, I don’t have a problem with anyone else knowing the basic story. And maybe if more people spoke about feeling this low and the steps they’re taking to address that, maybe more people would be more sympathetic.

Besides, if I’m keeping it all a big secret, how else am I going to moan and groan about the physical side effects of cit-a-thingy?!

That’s all for now, folks. Next time, on Sunshine’s Secret Secrets…