The truth, it hurts it does

I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that there is a massive difference between confiding in someone you know and trust, and baring your soul to a complete stranger, especially when their name is prefixed with the title “Dr” and their profession is psychology.

Some of my nearest and dearest are (horribly) perceptive and hiding anything from them is nigh on impossible but in that case, sharing is a relief, an opportunity to shed grief and distress, to be comforted and cared for.

On the other hand, there is something extremely uncomfortable about sitting in a warm and spacious room while said doctor expertly probes her way through the bones of your life, picking up on every signal, pressing all the right buttons to get the response you didn’t know was on the tip of your tongue, waiting to be confessed like a shameful secret.

Afterwards, drained and exhausted, you stare in horror at the truth you have been forced to admit, wondering how the hell you will ever learn to live with this new and unpleasant knowledge about yourself.

Old ghosts return to haunt your thoughts and you realise that the bogeyman hiding under your bed was, after all, as real as your shadow.

They say that the truth hurts.

They weren’t kidding.

4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by suzy2110 on 30 March 2010 at 7:30 pm

    I don’t know what to say, Jo. 😦 I think this will end up being a healthy part of the process and you’ll be glad you did it, one day. I’m just sorry that it is hurting now. ((hugs))

  2. Posted by ceebs on 30 March 2010 at 8:07 pm

    Phew,remember days like that myself. Long term it does help but there are bumps and bounces on the way, and days when you do think why am I doing this.

    Chill and relax, and you know where I am if you need to scream at someone.

  3. Jo, it all sounds too scary but it must be a good thing you are forcing yourself to go through with it… Lots of luck and best wishes winging their way from the mountain for you…

  4. Posted by Jon Storey on 31 March 2010 at 2:02 pm

    For me the accepting of the truth would be not as painful as the process of revealing it to a stranger. The equivalent of standing naked in the local high street.

    Well done and best wishes.

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